Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lucky to be his investment

Freshman year of college, after hanging out in my suite for a while, Sam Reverferd asked me to take a walk. We met at orientation before school started. He and his high school friend, Gary, his future roommate, came over to sit with me and the girl the school roomed me with for the weekend orientation. We were in the dining hall, and I was eating a cheese sandwich—soon to become the staple of my college diet.

Within the first few weeks of school, Sam and I became very good friends. He and Gary came to mine and my roommate Lisa’s room a lot. Everyday after classes and in between classes Sam would lounge in my chair and chat with me while Gary would sit at Lisa’s desk playing minesweeper.

Taking a walk with Sam was not unusual, but when he stopped in front of the vending machines in our dorm before we even got outside, I got a little curious. He turned with his back to the wall, leaned against it and folded his arms with his palms against his chest. I notice many thin guys fold their arms like this. His movements were cool and casual. His leg was bent so the bottom of his sneaker was on the white wall. “I’m interested in you,” he said. He was so nonchalant, almost as if he wasn’t going to care what my response was going to be. I don’t remember what I said to Sam after his confession. Honestly, I don’t think I remembered by the time I got back up to my room, because I was so caught off guard by his words. I had only thought of him as a friend and only wanted to be that much.

“I’m interested in you.” I kept replaying the words over and over in my head and out loud to Lisa. It would make us laugh…but why? Maybe the words he used made it seem like a business transaction was about to happen, like I’m interested in by 20 shares of stock. Maybe, coupled with his body language, they seemed arrogant, like he was letting me know I was lucky enough for him to make an investment in me. He wanted to become a stakeholder in the S-ie S. estate. Sam’s words were so mechanical and cold.

It’s so easy to see how G lured me in to be his girlfriend and to move in with him. It was his romantic human movements, his warmth, his compliments and how he showed me he wanted to give me happiness.

We wouldn’t have moved in together if he initiated our relationship by acting as though I was the piece of land where he was trying to stick his flag post…